Well, on the plus side, Marvel Comics' Black Widow finally got own movie. On the down side, it turned out to be a rom-com.
Last night, NBC's Saturday Night Live rather brilliantly skewered Marvel Studios' sexism when it comes to female superheroes, with the help of host Scarlett Johansson -- none other than Black Widow herself.
In the three-minute movie parody sketch "Black Widow: Age of Me," SNL addressed the growing complaints that leading female Avenger Black Widow has not received her own solo film, while satirizing the movie industry's treatment of women in romantic comedies ("rom-com"s) in the process.
The sketch opens with a dramatic voiceover, which begins, "You love the Marvel Universe -- Avengers: Age of Ultron, Thor, Captain America, Iron Man -- but you wanna know, why no Black Widow movie? Does Marvel not know how to make a girl superhero movie? Chill. Marvel gets women."
The trailer for Black Widow: Age of Me commences, with the tone abruptly shifting to typical rom-com trailer music and Voiceover Guy continuing, "When it came to life in the big city, Black Widow had it all figured out..."
Johannson, reprising her role as Black Widow with a pink sweater, breaks one of her high heels while walking New York City streets and grumbles, "Remind me to call whoever invented high heels and leave them a nasty message!"
We're shown Black Widow's huge apartment, great friends (Beck Bennett as Captain America and Jay Pharoah as Nick Fury eating chinese takeout with Black Widow), and an internship at Fashion Weekly. Black Widow's boss wonders where the new girl is as Black Widow backflips into the office. Looking over her outfit, Black Widow's boss remarks, "Leather...with a low neckline? Take that off..." (record scratch) "...and put it on the cover of our magazine."
"The only thing missing in Black Widow's life," continues Voiceover Guy, "was love." While walking through Central Park, Black Widow accidentally gets tangled up in a group of small dogs and apologizes for being a clutz. The owner of the dogs turns out to be Ultron, decked out in a blazer with a tie. Ultron asks Black Widow out for coffee, which she replies, "I don't really have any time to date any guys now, so..." "What about robots?" asks Ultron, making Black Widow smile.
When then see Black Widow back at her apartment, this time with her stereotypical gay friend, Thor (Taran Killam), who asks her who the guy is she's interested in. "What makes you think there's always a guy, Thor?" "Honey," replies Thor, "you're putting ketchup on your cereal."
"From Marvel Studios," continues Voiceover Guy as Black Widow and Ultron have a picnic together, "and the writers of 27 Dresses, comes the story of a superhero...and her super-romance." Black Widow and Ultron are shown starting to take their clothes off to have sex, until Widow pauses at the sight of Ultron's glowing...um...equipment. "Penis activated," announces Ultron, making Black Widow smile with anticipation.
"I think you're moving way too fast with this Ultron guy," advises Nick Fury, still eating chinese takeout.
"Does he even know anything about you?" asks Captain America. "Like, that your favorite food is ice cream?"
Thor walks into the living room, wearing only his glasses and a bath towel tucked above his chest. "Hey, B.W.? Your boyfriend is on the news..."
Cecily Strong as CNN TV news reporter Cheryl Fishman announces that Ultron has destroyed the Fashion Weekly building. "...as a robot named Ultron threw a bus at the Fashion Weekly building and I'd hate to be that guy's girlfriend."
Black Widow cries and shakes her head in disbelief at the news report, as sad music plays over a montage of Black Widow crying on the couch. Another CNN report shows footage of Ultron leaving the apologetic words "I'm sorry" with fire across another building. Ultron shows up at her apartment, with Black Widow scolding him for costing her a job and asking him if he even knows what her favorite food is. "Uh...Pizza?" replies Ultron. "Thank you," counters Black Widow, knocking Ultron out with a roundhouse kick.
We see Black Widow loading up her car with suitcases as Voiceover Guy continues, "For Black Widow, falling in love can be hard but it can also be...incredible." The Hulk (Bobby Moynihan) shows up, asking Black Widow "Where you go?"
"Paris. France," replies Black Widow, slamming the trunk shut.
"But if you go Paris," asks the Hulk, "then who help Hulk eat ice cream?" The Hulk holds up two cones of ice cream, making Black Widow smile once again.
The Black Widow: Age of Me title comes up, with the film being released on Valentine's Day 2016. "Marvel: We Know Girls."
If you'd like to see the full sketch, you can view it below thanks to Saturday Night Live's official YouTube account...
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